So, here’s the thing. Have you ever had two worlds crash? Everyone who knows me knows that I am a wine lover. I love learning new things about wine. and that is good since no matter how much you know about wine, there is always something else that you can tuck away into your memory bank. However, not everyone knows that I am also a major horror fan. I am a full guts and gore fanatic. The bloodier the better. I have watched horror films as long as I can remember. I probably was watching them long before the movie rating said I should. I mean, when I was a kid, my family went on vacation to Florida. It rained and rained. So my mom decided to take us to the movies. We went to go see Jaws. In 1975, I was 7 years old. I loved that movie! And when we came out of the movie, low and behold it had stopped raining. What was the first thing I did?! I begged my mother to take me to the store to get a red blow up raft and I went into the ocean. And I know there is a something a bit wrong with that. But I had a blast on that trip! Think about that. I was 7 and I still remember that trip clear as day.
As I grew up, I still loved all things horror. I remember sneaking into Friday the 13th when I was 12 years old. That movie traumatized so many people, but I laughed at the stupidity of the people who were being killed by Jason.
Then came Nightmare on Elm Street. Freddy Krueger was incredible. I loved that movie. The concept that you could be attacked while in your dreams… that was clever. But the thing is, you could only be attacked if you were fearful. I was never afraid. I went to college, and my poor roommate Jamie had to live not only a life size Freddy Krueger but the most incredible 3-D image of him coming out of the wall. To this day, she reminds me of how insane that was.
But it gets a little worse. Since I lived in NJ and went to college in CA, I wrote New Line Cinemas, the production studio for Nightmare on Elm Street, a letter asking them if I could please be in the next Nightmare on Elm Street movie. I explained that I lived a bicoastal life and whether they filmed in NY or CA, I could be there. I also told them that they didn’t need to pay me anything to be in the film, my only request was to be killed by Freddy. They could kill me in the first scene or take me to the end. No payment needed. Just death by Freddy. Now, I thought this was a slam dunk. I mean, who wouldn’t want to at least bring in a person who is willing to work for free. Alas, I never heard from them. My mom says I am lucky they didn’t send the police or psychiatric patrol after me.
So you see, supernatural and I have always been in a love affair. All of my favorite shows involve some sort of supernatural phenomena. By now you are asking yourself, what the heck am I listening to? I thought this was a wine podcast? Why am I listening to a conversation about Freddy Krueger? I bring you back to the sentence that started this podcast… Have you ever had your two worlds crash? Mine did when I came across a Clurichaun (“Kloo’-ra-kahn”) .
I am pretty confident you have all heard of a leprechaun. By the way, another favorite movie of mine. Much less known that Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street or my beloved Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I think the only people who know of the Leprechaun movie are die hard fans of Jennifer Aniston. (I know, you are now scrolling to check out the movie) Well, a Clurichaun is a distant relative of the Leprechaun. As much as the Leprechaun loves his pot of gold, the Clurichaun loves his wine!
A faerie with a twist. A true Irishman/woman will tell you that faeries exist, and that they are more troublesome than one would wish. They live in fairy rings, which are raised earthen circular mounds that are visible all over Ireland. Travelers may go make a wish among these fairy rings, but be sure not to disturb them, because faeiries are not happy when they are disturbed. Fae folk are viewed as smaller winged individuals, often female, while the leprechaun are wingless fairy men who may have a bit of an obsession with shoes and are known to cause general mischief. I know Americans love to dress up as them around St. Patrick’s Day, and they always wear green, but as an FYI, leprechauns wouldn’t be caught wearing green. It is red they donn.
Both consider themselves guardians of ancient treasure from the time when the Danes traveled through Ireland. They do hide their treasure at the end of the rainbow and they must grant you three wishes if you catch them. But the thing is.. faerie folk are often in a good mood but when they aren’t; watch out.
We all have the cousin/uncle that make a spectacle of themselves at family gatherings. Faerie folk are notorious drinkers and if they’re having a bad day, you will become the victim of their mischief. Well, that is the Clurichaun. The cousin of the leprechaun, also known as “His Nibs,” They are all males, which is a bit sexist if you ask me, but it is the supernatural world and we all need to live within their rules. Like the Leprechaun, the Clurichaun are Irish mythical creatures.
Technically, he is a solitary Irish faerie. Unlike leprechauns who are typically found in groups, the clurichauns prefer the solitary life and they protect wine versus their pot of gold. They are pranksters and jokesters and are very rarely seen without wine in their hand. In the 1825 folktale “The Haunted Cellar”, by Thomas Crofton Croker, Clurichaun are described as “heavy drinking little fellows” with faces like “withered apples” and noses plump and purple from all the boozing.
Due to their fondness for wine they often sneak into wine-cellars in order to ‘haunt’ them. Clurichauns were known to carry magical purses which contained ‘a lucky shilling’ or ‘spre na skillenagh’, that always returned to the purse, no matter how many times it was spent on purchasing wine. (wouldn’t that be nice?! I’m thinking how many classic Bordeaux would be in my cellar right now if I had that lucky shilling. ) Clurichauns are loyal creatures, and tend to attach themselves to families, mostly noble as they are the ones with the best wine cellar. Well, they attach themselves to the wine cellar more than the people. So if you move, unless you leave your wine, they will move with you.
The clurichaun is great to have around the house because he will protect your home from vandals and thieves. But his all time favorite place to be is in your wine cellar and as long as you treat them well they will protect your wine. When happy, you can hear him singing Irish folk songs’. But they easily anger, especially if you call them by their cousin’s name Leprechaun. In which case, they tend to become a wee tad emotional. If they feel they have been mistreated, or you do insult them, or worse pull their favorite wine out of the cellar, they will wreak havoc on a home and spoil the remaining wine stock. So be smart and be a courteous host.
If you feel that the benefits outweigh the negatives here are two ways to call a Clurichaun to your home: First, you can leave some wine out for him in your wine cellar but if you want to improve your chances there is a welcoming ritual you can perform.
In this spell, you are asking the Clurichaun to bless and protect your home.
You need a chalice full of wine (or juice) and your magic wand.
Begin by drawing a magic circle and calling in the elements. With your wand in your right hand and the chalice of wine in your left hand, stand in front of the north point of the circle while saying:
Clurichauns and all good house faeries Protect this home with your energies.
Go around to the east, south, and west points in that order, doing the same thing. Once this is completed, return to your altar, and place the chalice of wine on it while saying:
I offer my thanks with this wine To the Clurichauns this is my sign. Bless the faeries, always, blessed be!
Thank the Clurichauns, bid farewell to the elements, and pull up the circle.
Be sure to leave the chalice of wine on your altar overnight, and in the morning pour it into the earth as an offering to the faeries.
Most important to remember, the quantity of wine in your collection does not matter, it is the variety is the most paramount. Be careful what you wish for, because Clurichans are easily angered. There are many theories, and no one really knows why. Some say they get too drunk, while others say it is because there isn’t enough wine to drink. When happy, a Clurichaun will make sure all wine is maintained properly and none wasted. But an angry Clurichaun might slurp up all the supplies, take night rides on your dog’s back or smash your most prized bottles. They can scare pets and make a general mess of things. Clurichauns can control up to 10 gallons of wine through telekinesis and in doing so, they can make bottles squirt fluid with extreme force. So, think hard and long before inviting one to your cellar.
So what do you think? Would you welcome a Clurichan into your home? You can bet your last
spre na skillenagh that I would and I would be thrilled to share many a glass with him .